Cold Reading
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: In Tales of the Bizarre #65, three fandoms and original characters join in a very special event, in which a cast of characters plays a radio adventure, as the director of the show wants realistic sound effects, while under some "cold reading". But be careful what you wish for. Rated T for language and mild violence.


_Welcome to the olden days of entertainment. Submitted for your approval, we return to the yesteryears and its thrilling days, where radio was king and the special effects were as big as your imagination._

* * *

A boy in light blonde hair was walking to the studio, with a script in his hand. He was heading for the building's front entrance, as he was greeted to a guard, who blocked his way in.

"Hey, kid!" The guard called, "NO admittance!"

The boy said, "Sorry. My name's Koichi Hirose. I was summoned by the director-."

"Yeah, right. Where are your credentials, kid?"

Koichi showed him the script, and even his ID card. He was offered a job to fill-in for a voice actor, and he was chosen.

"I got a call this morning, and I-!"

"NO! Listen to me. The Gaynes Radio Studio has NO people in here! If you want to listen to the next program, wait in line, like everyone else! And I got no PASS for a Kokichi somebody!"

"_Koichi_."

"Whatever."

"LET ME IN!" He complained, "Talk to your boss, and he'll give the OK! I can make it in, for him! Let me talk to Mr. Gaynes! I got the script and everything!"

He pleaded to the guard, but the man grabbed him by the arm and slammed him to the wall, angrily and annoyed, "I'm NOT KIDDING! GET LOST!"

Koichi shrieked in horror, as he was being pinned down.

* * *

_Meet Koichi Hirose, the first of two bizarre actors in this radio program, specially made for your hearing and reading pleasure. In a moment, you'll meet the second of our two guests, whom of which will represent the greatest and most realistic radio program, bigger than "War of the Worlds". All recording live in the studios… of the "**Tales of the Bizarre**"…_

* * *

"UNHAND THAT BOY!" A male voice called, as he was dressed in a blue suit.

The guard said, "Mr. Gaynes, call the police on this brat! This boy tried to break and ent-!"

"I SAID UNHAND HIM, YOU SOON-TO-BE UNEMPLOYED BARBARIAN!" Mr. Gaynes boomed.

The guard let go, as Mr. Gaynes said, "I have a good mind to fire you, if my show goes swimmingly, but you have no right to crush this boy, literally! Now, do not repeat myself!"

Koichi smiled, "Oh, thank you, sir. My name-."

Mr. Gaynes boomed, "SILENCE, KID! Brainstorm…"

He narrated, "_He takes her by the arms… He holds her close… The organ begins to swell… And then he-._"

A female in a beret and long purple hair and tan skin called, holding a written script, "_…kisses her passionately_…"

"Ah, good…" he smiled. "I was going for "_…drops her to the floor._", but baggage isn't good enough for him."

The guard said, "Sir, this kid-."

"DO YOU NOT recognize Koichi Hirose?! He is a male ingénue extraordinaire. How DARE YOU lay your paws on him?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but his name wasn't on the list…"

Mr. Gaynes straightened Koichi's clothing and said, "…Mr. Hirose is chosen, who has graciously agrees to fill-in on this week's broadcast… since our dear Mr. Yuya Fungami has taken a leave of absence, through illness. COME! We haven't a moment to spare."

They stepped in, Koichi, Mr. Gaynes, and his assistant, as Koichi was about to start a brand-new job in Gaynes Broadcast Studios.

* * *

**_Tales of the Bizarre #65:  
"Cold Reading"_**

* * *

They were walking down the lobby, as Mr. Gaynes introduces himself, "Koichi Hirose, it's a privilege to have you here, as one of our _esteemed _fill-ins for tonight's broadcast. I'm Percival P. Gaynes, the owner of _Gaynes Broadcast Studios_. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but glad that you're here."

Koichi said, "Oh, that's alright. When I was offered to be a part of your radio show, I couldn't miss out!"

"In live radio, kid, that's the only way to live out. You got the script, right?"

"Certainly. I memorized every line in this script, and-."

"YOU WON'T NEED IT!"

He snatched the script away, and Koichi pleaded, "WAIT! YOU CAN'T!"

Mr. Gaynes said, "I can, will, and just did! Besides, Miss Yomoda and I did a rewrite on the script." He snapped his fingers and gave him the new script, "You come in at _page 2, line 3, _and the line is easy to remember. Be careful. The ink's still wet."

Koichi started to read the script, as Mr. Gaynes said, "You have plenty of time, before our show, tonight."

Koichi said, "Oh, uh, for you, yes, sir. So, I can't wait for the first rehearsal with the rest of my fellow cast members."

Mr. Gaynes chuckled, "Haha! HAH! _Rehearsal? Rehearsal?!_"

He and Miss Yomoda laughed heartily, as they entered the elevator. The doors closed, and when they shut tight, Koichi shrieked from inside, "**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?**"

They arrived at the fifth floor, as Koichi complained, "ON THE AIR?!"

Mr. Gaynes said, "In twenty minutes. Plenty of time, while we do one final set-up, before tonight. How can we rehearse, in that allotted time? Loomis did "_The Green Dragon_", Holden's in a _"Sofa Mutual_", and I announce "_The March of Progress_". We're too busy! So we do it _cold_."

They arrived at the studio, as Koichi sighed in disdain, "Cold reading… Should've known…"

_Theatrical cold reading is reading aloud from a script or other text with little or NO rehearsal, practice, or study in advance. Sometimes also referred to as "sight reading", it's a technique used by actors and other performers in theatre, television, and film performance fields._

"Your agent should've told you, kid." Percival continued, removing his blue blazer and giving it to Miss Yomoda.

He departed, as the man in a gray vest said, "Don't worry. It's not as hard as it looks. What could go wrong, in 15 minutes?"

He introduced to the cast, "Alright, lemme introduce you to the cast." He showed a girl in pink hair, "Sato Matsuzaka…"

She smiled, "How do you do?"

"Johnny Spicer…"

A boy in tan skin and blonde hair said, "What's up?"

"Asahi Kobe…"

A boy in blue hair nodded, "Hi."

"And our baritone, Oscar Gooden, providing the narration."

A man in dark skin, black hair, and a gray suit waved to Koichi. The man in the vest said, "Everyone, Koichi Hirose, he's our Timmy, tonight. Now, you stand here. ONE MINUTE, EVERYBODY!"

Johnny said, "If any trouble you have, Mr. Gaynes will cover for me."

Sato & Kobe asked, "Eh?"

Johnny gulped, "_Us. _Us…"

"If it's a serious problem, he should go to a record, or something, right?" Koichi asked.

They laughed, as Kobe asked, "And ruin his reputation?!" They laughed at him, as Koichi was annoyed.

Meanwhile, in the soundproof room, Percival was listening to the record of tribal music. He barked, as he was angry, "THIS… is African Jungle Music! TRIBAL DRUMS!"

A woman in long dark blue hair and a white blouse and brown vest said, "As long as it's not cheap, we have quality sound."

"NOW YOU _KNOW! _That I demand-!"

"Authenticity! I know!" The woman complained, "But what about this?"

She held up a black maracas with a deformed face on it. She explained, "This is what I got from a trip to the Congo. Voodoo fetish, for the queen's ritual dance…"

He examined it, as he said, "Hmm… It's nothing but a Tiki shaker. What is this, some sort of gag?"

"Well, I had the man at the store examine it. The clerk said that it can do things." She explained.

He snarled, as he placed it down, "I'd fire you if I have to, if you weren't under an ironclad _six-year contract _with the studio! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW AFRICAN ARTIFACTS, IF TARZAN WAS WEARING IT!"

The man called, "THIRTY SECONDS, MR. GAYNES!"

"COMING!" Percival called. He then said to the woman, "If I had _one _wish… ONE! SINGLE! WISH! Other than this dime-store party novelty… It would be that _every _sound effect would be called from this script to be something REAL! Something… _authentic._"

He walked off, as the woman prepared for the show. As she was setting the records, the artifact started to hiss a mysterious smoke from the eyes.

**XXXXX**

Percival sat down, as the director called, "Twenty seconds!"

Sato said to Koichi, "Relax. Just stick to the script, and it'll be easy."

Koichi gulped and said, "Right."

Johnny said, "And if you need anything, we'll help."

The clock struck seven, as the sign flashes "ON THE AIR". The show began with a beautiful organ introduction.

_This Tale of the Bizarre portion will NOW be under Play Form, for Radio Show authenticity._

Oscar was on the microphone, motioning his right hand, while talking.

(Oscar): Good evening, radio listeners. The Gaynes Radio Theater is on the air, presenting another thrill-packed episode, in the continuing adventures of… **_Dirk Daring – African Explorer! _**Brought to you by _Krispy Flakes_.  
When we last left Dirk Daring, our young hero, his faithful gal Friday, Winifred, and his young brother, Timmy, were lost in the valley of The Leopard People. Suddenly…

(Johnny): LOOK! Above those trees! Do you hear it? It's… a vulture!

Lily, the woman in the sound booth, played a record, as vulture crows started to play.

(Koichi): Lots of vultures live on the Ubangi, don't they?

(Sato): Why yes… The river can't be far off.

Lily turns to the window, but then spots the vulture, while the show goes on. A real vulture was in the studio, from out of nowhere. Lily stopped the record, in a light scratch.

(Koichi): The river? Why, if we're in the river, we must be close to the waterfall!

Miss Yomoda gasped, seeing the vulture, "The hell? There's a bird in the studio!"

Percival saw the bird, and gasped, "What? How did it get there?"

She tried to speak, but he silenced her, "Shh!" He whispered, "I think it might be right…"

(Sato): All we have to do is follow it. Around the bend, and through the rapids, oh, the sights… and smells of beautiful Africa-.

Koichi tapped Johnny's shoulder, and they saw the vulture. Sato & Asahi were confused. They saw the vulture, as they continued to story.

(Sato): Perhaps we shall soon find out way back to camp.

Silence was made, as everyone was confused, seeing a real vulture in the studio. The music swells, as Oscar resumed.

(Oscar): And so… as Dirk Daring and his friends began their trek back to the river…

(Sato): Oh, Dirk, I'm so glad that Father let me come with you. I've never seen such beautiful country!

(Johnny): And I've never seen such _beautiful _eyes, Winifred. They rival the…

Sato helps Johnny, as they said, "_Azure… Blue…_"

(Johnny): …of the African Sky. Thanks.

(Koichi): Gosh, Dirk. It doesn't look like it'll be blue, for long. The clouds seemed to be moving in fast. I think there's a storm brewing.

Lily prepares a metal wash basin and a watering can, pouring into the basin, simulating rain. And suddenly…

**BOOM!  
**Thunder boomed, and it started to rain, _inside _the studio. Lily shrieked, as she dropped the watering can. The wind was blowing, as the actors were getting dampened.

Johnny cried, "HEY! WHAT THE-?"

Koichi shrieked, "AAAAAAAAGH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

Sato cried, "HEY! MR. GAYNES!"

Miss Yomoda cried, "Mr. Gaynes! WHAT'LL WE DO?! IT'S RAINING IN THE STUDIO!"

Percival silenced her, as he was amazed, "I know! This is… This is brilliant! I don't believe it!"

They continued, very loudly, despite the indoor rainstorm.

(Johnny): YOU'RE RIGHT, TIMMY! BUT THERE… BUT LET'S NOT LET A LITTLE RAIN DAMPEN OUR ADVENTURE!

(Sato): LISTEN! DO YOU HEAR THEM? JUNGLE DRUMS!

Suddenly, drums were being played in the studio. Lily looked on, as she was about to play the record. To their utter surprise, a couple of tribesmen were in the background.

(Johnny): THE SAVAGES ARE BACK! I THOUGHT WE ELUDED THEM!

Lily was annoyed, "What the wha?"

(Sato): BUT I THOUGHT WE HAD ELUDED THEM!

(Johnny): WINIFRED, MY LOVE, I THINK OUR LUCK HAS RUN OUT!

Lily sulked, as she was sitting in a chair, watching the show from in the soundproof booth. She huffed, "Screw this. This is better than running around, getting the props." She relaxed and watched on.

Percival whispered, as the show continued, "Beautiful…"

(Johnny): THE UBANGI ARE STILL AFTER US!

(Asahi): WHOA!

(Koichi): WE'RE OUTRUNNING THEM, IN THIS RAIN! Uh…

A tribesman appeared from behind Sato, and she shrieked, "**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!**"

Percival groaned, as he heard her screams. He protested, "If she does that again, kill her! Uh, mic. Cut her mic off, if she does that again!"

Koichi screamed out, "WAIT, DIRK! I THINK I WAS WRONG! IT LOOKS LIKE THE RAIN'S EASING UP, A BIT!"

Sato agreed, "YES! I THINK… IT'S SUDDENLY STOPPED, ALTOGETHER!"

The storms stopped, as everyone was relieved. Sato smiled, "I think… yes, it is. LOOK! The sun is coming out again!"

They laughed in relief, but then a bright light shone them. They all laughed, as Johnny continued, "Yes, Winifred, you're right! The rain-! Oops…"

He grabbed his dampened script and read out, "The rain… uh… There isn't any… anymore!"

The organ music played, as Oscar was relieved, though sweating a bit, now that the sunlight has shone onto the studio.

(Oscar): AHEM! And now a word from our sponsor – _Krispy Flakes_.  
Boys and girls, if you like a nice and hearty nutritious breakfast that's also fun to eat, then, mm-mm, why not have a big bowl of Krispy Flakes? It is the… breakfast food for you.

Suddenly, a bowl of cereal and a jug of milk appeared, hovering over the studio.

(Oscar, befuddled): Uhhh… Yes, uh, with all the-, uh, deep down oat and barley malt goodness of your favorite hot cereal…

The milk poured onto the cereal, as Oscar concluded, "…but it's _crunnnnchy!_ Ha-ha, so remember what Dirk Daring – African Explorer says… "_Krispy Flakes_! That's the one for me!" _Krispy Flakes, _part of a complete and balanced breakfast. OH! And uh, now back to… Dirk Daring – African Explorer."

He put the script down, as the actors resumed their work.

(Sato): Dirk, darling, what's that sound?

(Johnny): Why I don't know, it sounds like… monkeys…

A monkey appeared, as Koichi was shocked, "Eh?"

Johnny protested, but said nothing. He started crying a bit.

Lily smirked, "This is even better than stage plays."

(Sato): Why look… It's over there. Apes! All kinds of them! What shall we do?

(Johnny): Uh, toot-toot, uh-, tut-tut, Winifred.

Percival was amazed, "It's amazing. IT'S MAGNIFICENT!"

Miss Yomoda protested, "IT'S INSANE! I've got to do something!"

He cried, holding her, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? This is PERFECT! Can't you hear it? The realism, the drama, it's AFRICA! Oh, Tengge, the ratings will go through the roof!"

Tengge complained, "PERCIVAL! Don't you understand what's going on here? You can't do this, with everything going on! Every sound effect in the script, every time they make a mention, it happens!"

"I know! And it's brilliant! This is perfection! AND I LOVE IT!"

"NO! ARE YOU NUTS? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT IS ON PAGE 9?"

Percival asked, "The Leopard Queen's ritual dance? Or no? Where is she?"

Tengge huffed, "You didn't read the script."

"I WROTE the script! If it's not the ritual dance, what is it?"

Tengge yelled, "**THE PLANE CRASH!**"

He gasped, as he was stunned. He then chuckled, "Oh, what's the happening? Planes are far from the sky! There are no planes near this building! So what if a plane crashes? Planes are outside!"

Tengge screamed, "So does rain, usually! TELL _THEM!_"

(Sato): Did you hear that? Rifles-! Rifles in the distance!

**BANG! BANG!  
**A rifle magically appeared and fired a shot. They ducked for cover, as Percival was shocked, "Oh, my god…" He scrambled to the script and did a quick rewrite, "Uh… Uh, let's remove the plane crash… NO! Leave the plane crash as it is, but… but let's…"

Tengge nodded, "Agreed! We could say that the plane _somehow _went back on course."

"_It sure looks like it was going into a nosedive! _What else?"

"And Winifred says…"

"Winifred says…" He started writing the script, as "Uh… Winifred says "_Lucky he pulled out, just in time!_" Tengge, look for the script for something more dangerous than that."

Tengge said, "Page 12, the earthquake."

"Oh, my god!" Percival cried, "NO!"

"Should we scrap the earthquake scene?"

"It's a start."

He dashed out of the director's seat and ran into the studio, with his script.

(Johnny): We'll move by day and sleep by night, so within a fortnight, we'll have reinforcements and supplies!

(Asahi): But the days are short in the jungle here, Dirk!

Percival waved to the others, as he showed them the rewritten script, and showed them all.

(Johnny): I, uh, I know… That way we'll all move faster, to get through the shortness of the daylight.

(Koichi): Good thinking, big brother!

Percival continued to conduct his cast with his brand new script, to avoid ANY and ALL disasters, including the plane crash, the earthquake, and even the jungle animals that would devour them. In fact, they'd even skipped the evil Leopard Queen's ritual dance. It continued onwards, as they were avoiding any disasters that would befall them.

* * *

And then, as it was now 7:14, the organ music played, as Oscar was reading the script, with everyone exhausted and tired.

(Oscar): And so… Dirk Daring and friends returned, one week later…

(Koichi): We're lucky we made it out of here alive, huh, Dirk?

(Johnny): Right, Timmy. When the Leopard Queen fell into the pit of the alligators, it broke the spell. She even had control over the elephant herd, which was broken, as well.

(Koichi): PHEW! Good thing those elephants aren't going to stampede at us, after all…

Percival leaves, as he was close to the end.

(Johnny): It's been a long hard day. Wouldn't you agree, Winifred?

Sato was moaning, mumbling incoherently. She was ragged and exhausted.

(Johnny): I must admit, having this adventure with you has been a closer experience… You have helped me understand your love for the flora and fauna. But regrettably, we better head back for camp, I guess… for nice… long… rest…

(Koichi): …and for a big bowl of delicious _Krispy Flakes_.

Johnny laughs, though woodenly and unenthusiastically. The music concludes, as Percival and Tengge sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness." Percival smiled, "Another excellent performance."

He celebrated, having himself a cigar, as Oscar concluded the show, "And so concludes another thrill-packed adventure of… **_Dirk Daring – African Explorer!_** Brought to you by _Krispy Flakes_ – the breakfast food that is fun to eat, because it's _crunchy!_"

Percival smiled, as he lit his cigar. But then…

Oscar announced, "Be sure to tune in _next week,_ when the _Gaynes Radio Theatre_…"

Percival dropped his cigar, and gasped, "Next week?"

Oscar continued, "…will present a brand-new exciting Dirk Daring adventure…"

Percival screamed, "NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! STOP IT! STOP IT! CUT!"

But he was too late.

"**_Invaders from Mars!_**"

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**"

**CRASH!  
**A spaceship appeared from within the studio, in silver and chrome plating, as a figure was inside the shuttle. Everyone was completely shocked and frightened by the invader from Mars that appeared from out of the blue. It looks like there is no escape for the Gaynes Broadcasting Studios, as they prepare for their _next _show… and the bizarre moments would continue.

* * *

_There's an old saying in show business "The show must go on". Take what you will, with a grain of salt. Sometimes when you act out, it can look real. In radio, you let your imagination do the magic, as you picture the show on radio. Case in point the Gaynes Broadcasting Studios, which has its imagination run wild, and created perhaps the most realistic performance in the history of broadcasting._

_So concludes our broadcasting hour… of the "**Tales of the Bizarre**"._

* * *

At the studio, as it is emptied, a female shadowy figure walked into the studio, as her shadow was on the wall. She then whispered, in a quiet voice, "Goodnight… wherever you are…"

Her shadow vanished, as her laughter echoed around the studio.

* * *

**_Miz-K NOTE: _**_And thus, we finish up another round of "Tales of the Bizarre". Be sure to tune in on Halloween Night, as we prepare "Tales of the Bizarre Story #66". We're not done yet! We have ONE more story to go._

_By the way, this story is a mix of characters featured from different genres. Percival Gaynes and Oscar Gooden from OCs from "The Gang" series, Koichi Hirose from "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure", John Spicer, Tengge Yomoda, & Lily Fuma of "Moé Ninja Girls", and Sato Matsuzaka & Asahi Kobe from "Happy Sugar Life". I apologize if this is an "Anime X-Over" category, but none of the characters here are the victims. Not this time._

_Also, who was that woman in the shadows? Well, all we can tell you is that she is our Master of Ceremonies of this Bizarre Tales anthology. We will reveal her, in the next Tale of the Bizarre.  
Until then, from the offices of Miz-K Productions… **Have a nice day.**_

* * *

**_Good night…_**


End file.
